So, Mark Zuckerberg has announced to the groveling masses at a recent Facebook Expo that “Brands need to become friends.”
Good Grief, direct marketers have been both saying and practicing that for the last 25 years to my personal knowledge. But, no doubt because the Guru of social marketing has spoken, his words will be treated akin to some that Moses brought down from the mountain a few years ago.
I was reminded how brands have lost their friendship last week when my Mum read a book I had bought for her. It was all about the area in York I grew up in and I thought she would enjoy reading it. Not only did she find a ‘photo of yours truly aged 18 months but all the local neighbours including the owners of the local corner shop.
Of course, this was a time when neighbours really were neighbours; when you had a bank manger who knew your name and if you were good for the loan of a few quid; when chairs were available in shops for the weary husbands and the assistants had time for a chat.
This is what making friends with brands is about.
Not sticking a helpline number on a grocery pack or sticking a facebook page up and using simply as a library of your ads and never bothering to answer and fans questions because you can’t be bothered and are far too busy attending meetings.
We hear all this talk about brand values and brand equity and I doubt many really know what that means in real terms.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Monday, September 26, 2011
What a load of bankers.
I bank with a certain local bank which operates a loyalty scheme as part of their credit card offering and yesterday I received an SMS reminder about the points I was earning.
Feeling grateful for the reminder of the ‘000’s of points I must have amassed in the last 3 years, I called them.
A young lady answered. “Hello”
“How can I find out how many points I have accumulated on my loyalty programme?”
“Give me your card number”
At this point, thankfully, I retained my sanity and declined.
She didn’t say the name of the bank, she didn’t give her name, she didn’t ask my name or any form of security process in order to ensure she was talking to the card owner and not someone who had stolen it.
This is terrifying because here is an organization that I am supposed to trust with my money, who spend millions of rupees trying to either buy or build that trust, yet they can’t get the most basic of
security processes in place to make sure I DO trust them.
Answers of a postcard please
Feeling grateful for the reminder of the ‘000’s of points I must have amassed in the last 3 years, I called them.
A young lady answered. “Hello”
“How can I find out how many points I have accumulated on my loyalty programme?”
“Give me your card number”
At this point, thankfully, I retained my sanity and declined.
She didn’t say the name of the bank, she didn’t give her name, she didn’t ask my name or any form of security process in order to ensure she was talking to the card owner and not someone who had stolen it.
This is terrifying because here is an organization that I am supposed to trust with my money, who spend millions of rupees trying to either buy or build that trust, yet they can’t get the most basic of
security processes in place to make sure I DO trust them.
Answers of a postcard please
A Digital Dilemma.
A colleague of ours recently got married and on returning from 2 weeks of marital bliss decided he and his wife should open a joint account.
Everything worked fine for the first few days until he was invited on a boy’s night out. Realising he was short of cash he dropped over to a well-known bank ATM, inserted the joint account debit card and withdrew Rs5,000/- (after all he had lots to talk about and the night was looking a long one).
30 minutes later he gets a call from his wife on his mobile.
“Why have you just withdrawn Rs5,000/- from the account?”
Dumfounded and temporarily lost for words (unusual) he dug his grave by saying “I didn’t, I only withdrew Rs500/-“
Quick as a flash his newly betrothed answered “Listen, I get an alert on MY mobile when YOU withdraw cash from our joint account.”
Collapse of colleague and disappearance of his dinner into the family dog.
The moral of this sad story is that whilst technology can be responsible for lots of lovey-dovey messages leading up to the moment when the Groom says “I do” and believes he is committing himself to a life of connubial bliss, the real truth comes along silently afterwards.
The dangers of not thinking ahead when you’re thinking of the digital future.
Those that digital can bring together can also be wrest asunder.
Everything worked fine for the first few days until he was invited on a boy’s night out. Realising he was short of cash he dropped over to a well-known bank ATM, inserted the joint account debit card and withdrew Rs5,000/- (after all he had lots to talk about and the night was looking a long one).
30 minutes later he gets a call from his wife on his mobile.
“Why have you just withdrawn Rs5,000/- from the account?”
Dumfounded and temporarily lost for words (unusual) he dug his grave by saying “I didn’t, I only withdrew Rs500/-“
Quick as a flash his newly betrothed answered “Listen, I get an alert on MY mobile when YOU withdraw cash from our joint account.”
Collapse of colleague and disappearance of his dinner into the family dog.
The moral of this sad story is that whilst technology can be responsible for lots of lovey-dovey messages leading up to the moment when the Groom says “I do” and believes he is committing himself to a life of connubial bliss, the real truth comes along silently afterwards.
The dangers of not thinking ahead when you’re thinking of the digital future.
Those that digital can bring together can also be wrest asunder.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
The IQ of a dead slug
As a direct marketer I receive all kinds of stuff in the in-box. Some good, but most of it absolute rubbish. The latest was tonight and winged its way from Philadelphia, a rather nice city in the US although I’ve never visited. And I’m unlikely to because this is the home of DirectMarketingIQ , a misnomer if ever there was one. They claim to be one of the leaders in direct marketing in the US and actually publish magazines about it, although I’m not sure they should be allowed to continue doing so.
How can someone who purports to be the “Chief Content Officer” not even think to look out for domain names that are clearly not of US origin and then consider removing them? Why do I want to log into a webinar at 2 am to listen how “direct mail can increase my turnover?” Didn’t he even check where the domain names are and consider their time zones before sending out his painful missive? Didn’t he even look at the name of the company in my alleged “subscription” and consider that if there’s the name DIRECT in it, might it not have something to do with direct marketing? And don’t direct marketers use direct mail?
It’s not that this stupidity bothers me, but the lack of forethought does.
This is what gives direct marketing a bad name. Poor targeting, lack of planning and thought.
I could think of a better title than Chief Content Officer, but this is a family newsletter.
How can someone who purports to be the “Chief Content Officer” not even think to look out for domain names that are clearly not of US origin and then consider removing them? Why do I want to log into a webinar at 2 am to listen how “direct mail can increase my turnover?” Didn’t he even check where the domain names are and consider their time zones before sending out his painful missive? Didn’t he even look at the name of the company in my alleged “subscription” and consider that if there’s the name DIRECT in it, might it not have something to do with direct marketing? And don’t direct marketers use direct mail?
It’s not that this stupidity bothers me, but the lack of forethought does.
This is what gives direct marketing a bad name. Poor targeting, lack of planning and thought.
I could think of a better title than Chief Content Officer, but this is a family newsletter.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
No more empty faces in an empty hall.
I taught CRM at our professional institute in the UK for over 20 years and during that time I must have seen, oh, somewhere in the region of 4,000 students pass through. Some you remember but most, sadly, pass by anonymously. Teaching was immensely fulfilling because we were passing on knowledge accumulated through experience as well as theory.
But, all that paled into insignificance as a result of a ‘phone call from one of our ex-staff members, Danusha Fernando, who has just completed his Postgraduate degree in direct marketing at his Canadian University.
Staggering results of over 95% and nothing less than an A in all 11 subjects. Utterly brilliant!
There are some things that make me sing out with unbridled joy and this is one of them. Here is a young man who saw such total sense in direct marketing strategy that he went, quite literally, halfway round the world to learn his chosen subject – at no small cost either. Sheer hard work and persistence has paid off in spades and he’ll graduate with honours.
All of us at Direct Solutions are immensely proud of him and offer our sincerest congratulations.
But, all that paled into insignificance as a result of a ‘phone call from one of our ex-staff members, Danusha Fernando, who has just completed his Postgraduate degree in direct marketing at his Canadian University.
Staggering results of over 95% and nothing less than an A in all 11 subjects. Utterly brilliant!
There are some things that make me sing out with unbridled joy and this is one of them. Here is a young man who saw such total sense in direct marketing strategy that he went, quite literally, halfway round the world to learn his chosen subject – at no small cost either. Sheer hard work and persistence has paid off in spades and he’ll graduate with honours.
All of us at Direct Solutions are immensely proud of him and offer our sincerest congratulations.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Laugh?....I nearly cried.
I’ve always believed that if one company approaches another with an opportunity to do business together, then there’s a fair chance it will happen. Especially when it’s a straight retail transaction.
So it came as a surprise when we approached a shop, (who have a wholesale division) with an interest to buy several thousand items and commence a business relationship that would likely last several years.
They promised to send us ‘photo’s of the chosen items…and promised…and promised…and promised.
As a result they have lost the business opportunity that could net them several million rupees.
It’s no skin off our nose, but I simply can’t understand why companies do this.
Perhaps they’re doing enough business already.
Yet, they spend large amounts of money on advertising discounts on single items.
Strange!
So it came as a surprise when we approached a shop, (who have a wholesale division) with an interest to buy several thousand items and commence a business relationship that would likely last several years.
They promised to send us ‘photo’s of the chosen items…and promised…and promised…and promised.
As a result they have lost the business opportunity that could net them several million rupees.
It’s no skin off our nose, but I simply can’t understand why companies do this.
Perhaps they’re doing enough business already.
Yet, they spend large amounts of money on advertising discounts on single items.
Strange!
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
A Lady and her Gin are never parted.
My dear old Mum was 90 on May 8th. A good age for a feisty, determined lady who has all her faculties.
She’s also a lady who believes in the medicinal properties of a drop of gin each night so is a good customer of her local Sainsbury and is for even grateful when I go home laden with litres of Duty Free.
When we were talking on the day she told me she’d received her annual birthday card from Gordon’s Gin. She commented because it was a week early. Now, she’s been receiving this card – and a Christmas one – from these people at Gordons for the last 10 years and each one has been accompanied by a money-off voucher.
Trouble is, she can’t stand Gordon’s and prefers Beefeater.
So, Gordon’s have spent an average of Rs340/- a year for 10 years (Rs3,400/-) on her and never received a sale.
Yet, they have the mechanism to track what she buys through the bar coded voucher.
Assume there’s 100,000 like her on the Gordon’s database who also didn’t buy for 10 years and Gordon’s have spent Rs340,000,000/- with no return on investment. What plonkers! The idiots who are running the Gordon’s Gin database should be shot for wasting money without analyzing who’s actually buying their stuff.
Mum drinks 2 G & T’s a night. That’s 60 a month at 32 measures a bottle means she’s buying 2 bottles a month. Over 10 years she’s bought 240 bottles @ an average of Rs1,800/- per bottle.
For those without a calculator that’s Rs432,000/-
By the way, Sainsbury will take the discount vouchers for Gordon’s and knock the value off the price of her Beefeater.
Beefeater must be laughing their Juniper berries off.
She’s also a lady who believes in the medicinal properties of a drop of gin each night so is a good customer of her local Sainsbury and is for even grateful when I go home laden with litres of Duty Free.
When we were talking on the day she told me she’d received her annual birthday card from Gordon’s Gin. She commented because it was a week early. Now, she’s been receiving this card – and a Christmas one – from these people at Gordons for the last 10 years and each one has been accompanied by a money-off voucher.
Trouble is, she can’t stand Gordon’s and prefers Beefeater.
So, Gordon’s have spent an average of Rs340/- a year for 10 years (Rs3,400/-) on her and never received a sale.
Yet, they have the mechanism to track what she buys through the bar coded voucher.
Assume there’s 100,000 like her on the Gordon’s database who also didn’t buy for 10 years and Gordon’s have spent Rs340,000,000/- with no return on investment. What plonkers! The idiots who are running the Gordon’s Gin database should be shot for wasting money without analyzing who’s actually buying their stuff.
Mum drinks 2 G & T’s a night. That’s 60 a month at 32 measures a bottle means she’s buying 2 bottles a month. Over 10 years she’s bought 240 bottles @ an average of Rs1,800/- per bottle.
For those without a calculator that’s Rs432,000/-
By the way, Sainsbury will take the discount vouchers for Gordon’s and knock the value off the price of her Beefeater.
Beefeater must be laughing their Juniper berries off.
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